oh shit… i’d say give her some time, she’s upset because you like someone else, i’d assume. also, i’d be upset too if my gf was romantic to me, then said she was breaking up because she liked someone else.

Don’t worry about still having feelings for your ex. That’s normal. You used to like him after all. And even if your relationship did not work out he is still mostly the same person. But what you miss are his good parts and the good times you had with him.

This is normal and nothing to worry about. Accept these feelings for what they are. Nothing is wrong with having them. It doesn’t mean that you like your girlfriend any less.

I’m seeing a little of what I’d describe as toxic monogamy in this question. That’s not to imply a monogamous relationship isn’t right for you; it’s what most people want, so just statistically, it’s probably what you and your girlfriend want.

What I mean by toxic is that the belief that it’s unacceptable to be friends with an ex or that you can’t be in a relationship if your feelings for a former partner aren’t completely gone can poison relationships. People are usually more complicated than that, and while both of those things sometimes lead to problems, they don’t have to. Talking to your partner about their feelings surrounding the issue and agreeing on boundaries that are acceptable to both of you will prevent a lot of problems. That brings us to…

she asked me about our relationship and I told her to stop talking about it

I don’t usually like to speak in absolutes when it comes to human interactions because different people are different. I’ll make an exception here though. This was the wrong answer if you want to have a relationship with her.

It’s still the wrong answer, and that’s where you left things. If you don’t want it to end there, your best chance is to tell her you know that was a mistake, apologize, and offer to talk about your relationship as much as she wants to.