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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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  • Ok, so imagine you were expected to strip naked, cuddle up to someone else who was also stripped naked. Imagine you are expected to pretend to have very real and intimate feelings with one another and in the process do very intimate things with them like kiss, touch their body, and simulate penetrative sex all while being in a room full of people watching you do this and with cameras recording the entire thing with the intent to show it to the world. That in itself would make most people at least a bit uncomfortable.

    Now, maybe you also feel uncomfortable because you have a spouse or significant other. Maybe you know this other person well and they are platonic friends. Maybe they are barely an acquaintance, just a work colleague. Maybe you have romantic feelings for this other person. Maybe you hate them. Maybe the other person has made advances on you. Maybe you have a history of being assaulted or of being used sexually. Maybe you are self conscious about your body. For any number of very justifiable reasons, this situation can be anywhere from slightly to very uncomfortable for either or both actors, even scary in some situations.

    The intimacy coordinator is not a sex coach. They are there to make sure the situation is safe, consensual, and as respectful and private as possible for both actors, and to see that their needs are met for this very stressful circumstance to minimize discomfort. They also make sure that nobody on set oversteps boundaries, that the actors’ rights are upheld, act as the single point of contact between the actors and production to minimize uncomfortable conversations and miscommunication. They will be involved in choreography of the scene, but not as a coach so to speak, but rather in mentally preparing and making exactly clear the understanding for all parties what is going to happen, giving everyone the time to process and veto plans if necessary.


  • So on the one hand, I think you are going to find almost nobody agrees with your pronunciation. On the other hand, you should wear your mispronunciations with pride because what that tells me is that you were a reader growing up and likely came about this word the first time in text without any other context, maybe even many times before you heard it spoken. Your brain made an educated guess (I’m guess pulling from the pronunciation of “jaguar”?). It got it wrong, but understandably so, and it has cemented in your brain. Fix it if you care to, but no real need. Either way, kudos for being a young reader.



  • I don’t know why you’re making analogies to alcohol like they are the same thing. Not for the least of which because you will also need to make those decisions about alcohol AS WELL as about sex. But alcohol is, in itself, destructive, especially to sound decision making. Sex doesn’t have to be. And having a healthy mindset about sex from the start means they become better more healthy sexual partners earlier, something many people never become. And yes, she faces more direct consequences if a pregnancy happens, but so long as both of them are consenting, and her parents are aware and consenting as well, that is her decision to risk it and not your job to keep her from making that decision. And it doesn’t mean you are operating a brothel in your house You’re providing a modicum of safety and trust that they won’t have otherwise even as they continue to have sex anyway.


  • As you said, the sex is going to happen anyway. So you have to consider it like this… would you rather A) you make it easy for him, maintain trust and inclusion in his life decisions, can make sure that he has condoms and know that he is using them appropriately, and, if something like a pregnancy, STD, or social challenges happen, you will know asap and can help navigate that situating with them. Or B) you make it hard for them (so they have maybe half as much sex if you’re lucky), you become an obstacle and make it clear that he can’t discuss his sex life with you without fearing punishment, leave it up to a teenager to afford and provide his own condoms and use them appropriately without instruction, and when something like a pregnancy, STD or social stigma happens to them, you will have no idea until the problem is too big to hide anymore.

    Frankly, I would choose A. But that’s me.





  • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.worldtoFunny@sh.itjust.worksEasy peasy
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    11 days ago

    Obviously this is a silly example, but I really do remember when they would write out full urls with paths like 3 directories deep in magazines and newspapers expecting you to manually enter those urls and visit whatever site. I hated that shit in the early days of the internet in grade school. “http://www.theentireforty-ninecharacterlongnameofthecompany.com/marketingadvertisements/newspapertimes/landingpage79fad5c21e.html” (don’t click that link… i just made it up. It doesn’t go anywhere.) I could barely type but now I have to get every character correct or I might accidentally end up on a black market website or porn somehow (where my fellow Whitehouse dot com victims at?). QR codes and smartphones really are godsend for print media internet ads.

    P.S. I told you it didn’t go anywhere. You feel better now?

    P.P.S. Apparently Whitehouse dot com still functions but is no longer porn. It’s some election betting thing now? Idk.